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Considering Homeschooling

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Considering Homeschooling

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At 6:31pm on October 21, 2008, Fege said…: Hi Pamela,
I am new to this site. Desperation brought me to it wondering if there are others out there with same conflicts and of course there are!! I would be interested to discuss your husband's "sensory issues". I am an educational psychologist and am living with a man for 6 years who is I believe a classic AS - yet undiagnosed. I do not tell hime my suspicions. I am not sure if I will continue to stay with him, I am always reasdy to walk - yet.... I am 60 and he is 66 and is a decent man yet the intimacy issues, lack of affection are becoming intolerable. I am a very sensual woman who appears to be a magnet for AS men. My x-husband (who remains a much better friend than a husband) was one who later had an AS son. So, I am repeating the same pattern but totally unconsciously having attached to my present partner!! The intimacy issue has become much worse in the last year since due to medications for high blood pressure due to which he hAS bEcOme impotent. I find I have to intiate ALL contact or there is NONE!! I would be interested to know how his sensory perceptions are altered - audio, taste, touch, smell etc. For instance my partner can only tolerate a caress if it is not too gentle but has more pressure on the skin. He experiences a caress as "tickling". He can only tolerate touch on certain parts of his body and not on others. That's it for now. So very very hard to understand yet to live with! I guess it is some consollation that ther are others out there with same concerns. take care. Fege

At 11:55pm on August 17, 2008, Pamela said…: Anna,

I haven't been in this forum in a while, but just got your comment. Yes, there are good days and bad days being married to an Aspie, as I am sure there are being married to anyone.

I often feel unloved and more often frustrated at some issues that I have to deal with that other non-aspie wives do not, but overall I have come to realize that I can't live my life based on emotions. In a way I have to think like an Aspie and look at the facts.

1. My husband loves me. Whether I feel this love or not, I KNOW that he loves me beyond words.

2. It is never boring being married to my husband, since I NEVER know what to expect next. I don't have to worry about having a boring life.

3. God is in control, not me and neither is my hubby. (Whew!)

4. My kids WILL understand, some day, why there Dad was do different from the other dads. And... they will remember what a fun dad they had (he's so much like one of them!!!)

That is a few of the most important facts I must remind myself of regularly. A life lived on an emotional level will get - well too emotional! So I am trying to learn to remember the facts and make sure those facts are my perception. After all our perception is our reality!

I am getting all philosophical!!! :) HTH!

At 11:38pm on August 17, 2008, Anna said…: Pamela:

I know about the feeling of the lack of an emotional bond. Sometimes it feels hard to feel like there is any love.

Anna

At 10:03pm on April 19, 2008, Esteban said…: I'll have to get back to you on this. After reading what you wrote, I believe that it IS better to be homeschooled dependent on the environment in which you are in. Some environments (i.e. the one's I grew up in) may not be supportive towards aspies that are home schooled. I come from a cultural ecological perspective in regards to community and human behavior within it.
I'll try to expand upon this when I get back... I have to go work.
I need to think on this one. Thanks for the input. I just have to go to work now; but i'll be thinking about it.