Parents of Girls with Aspergers

Comment

Comment by Carole on September 28, 2009 at 12:46am

Hi Denise, thanks for the suggestions,I will try the other site ,i tried this one as i thought being so large it would be very active . I have an 18 year old daughter too so have been through the 14teens once before and although she liked her bed , she did get up for school but is suffering depression now as well as the 14 year old. We found Disability to help with that ( doctors here are reluctent to give medication and eldest daughter was very ill on any antidepression meds so youngest (with similar makeup ) will probably be as well and that was from doctor as well ,its so hard to make sense of it all isnt it but will continue to battle through !! Thanks Carole

Comment by Denise Junk on September 28, 2009 at 12:21am

Hi Carol,

This doesn't appear to be a very active group . You might want to try Wrong Planet. com . They have a parents support group there that is pretty helpful .
Your daughter might also like it as it has a lot of teen-20's aspies .

As to the sleeping thing . Being 14 is pretty difficult for anyone, being aspie just makes it more challenging but every "behavior" is not necissarily caused by being AS . Depression can also cause difficulty getting out of bed, especially for an aspie who isn't currently engaged in a special interest....I actually think that not having a special interest IS depression for an aspie . We need them like fuel .

There are also many aspies who self-report difficulty with delayed sleep onset...ie..."night owls" . Seems that there maybe some connection with different internal clocks OR we just enjoy the quit and less stimulation of nights . I have had this problem all my life and got through college by taking afternoon and night classes and have been working over nights shift for the past 15 years . I got tired of fighting my natural cycle of going to bed at 4am and up at noon .
There are medication that might help and some find Melatonin helpful if she is willing to take it .

I wish you both luck in finding a solution to the problem .

Comment by Carole on September 27, 2009 at 10:36pm

Hi I have a 14 year old Daughter with Aspergers she was diognosed at twelve and a half after testing and am having so much trouble getting her out of bed and to school each morning even during weekends and school holidays (we are on them at the moment ) It gives me two weeks off from the arguements and the silence but it does come to an end . We have changed schools and she now goes to a smaller single sex Catholic School and they are a terrific non judgemental school and praise her whenever she turns up no matter what the time is but this is really churning up our household . I cant home school as i work funny hours and have to work .My husband seems to turn his back to it all and my eldest (18 year old daughter seems to cop the nasty meltdowns as she pushes her buttons very well )has the bruises from outbursts .I have tried most things but she doesnt care about being bribed and any routines we try to start get stopped in their tracks . We are seeing a Disability Psychologest each week but again she isnt interested and gets very bored and says she doesnt care . We live in Australia and finding help is difficult so here i am Thanks for reading and any helpful messages greatly valued . Carole

Comment by Janice (Softball Mom) on May 25, 2009 at 8:48pm

Just a quickie to introduce myself. I am a mom w/a 20 year old daughter--we say "high functioning Asperger's"---PDD(Pervasive Developmental Disorder). We have come along way. I am here to learn more if I can and to help if anyone has questions for me. It's always an up and down struggle, but as Mom's we know the end will be worth it. Good luck to each of you. Janice

Comment by Eleanor Lewis on March 6, 2009 at 12:14pm

Hi, I'm wondering around in this site to find encouragement.I introduced myself last year. I don't want to be repetitive, I assume everyone can find my introduction on the site. I also posted a comment last night. I am now 64 years old dealing with a 9 year old aspie daughter. Hope I can find my way back to this group. I can use all the feedback I can get.

Comment by Alison Kiser on March 1, 2009 at 7:40am

I have a 6 yr. old with pdd-nos.

Comment by Denise Junk on November 14, 2008 at 7:01pm

http://www.newsweek.com/id/168868/page/1

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt82316.html

Two links about gender differences in females with AS that parents might want to check out .

Comment by Denise Junk on November 9, 2008 at 6:08pm

I am brand new to this sight and am not sure of procedures here but wanted to let parents know that I am a 45 year old, DXed with AS a year ago. I have spent a lot of my time researching aspergers and talking(Internet only) to other females with AS. I am open to any parents who want to ask me for my perspective , with the acknowledgement that "we" are all unique in our traits and challenges...but there are some commonalities as well.

I believe that there are common misconceptions about AS, especially in female aspies that have not been well researched. I hope that Tony Atwood and others follow through with their reported interest in this area as it is long over due.


To Alicia....

"anxiety" is not an illness like a broken arm that can be attributed to one cause so it's hard to say how to treat it...(with a cast) .

My anxiety is/was caused by multiple things....

It can be caused by a low or high thyroid or over active adrenal reaction....an endocrinologist can test levels but there are some complications with reading "results". One person's "normal" level as defined by specialist can be to low or high for the actual individual. There is lots of information about this on the Internet. I always suggest that parents don't rule out possible medical causes for behavior that could be masked when the child has a DX of AS.

Two other causes of anxiety for me are sensory and social.

Sensory can be cause d by an environment that is just to noisy or confusing. The brain can not process all it needs to to feel "safe" in the environment and that triggers feelings of pa inc.

The same is true of socializing. Many people with AS do not read subtle nonverbal ques....which account for about 80% of human communication. She may feel that she is expected to react in a certain way but is not getting the same messages that a non-AS person gets. It's a bit like if I through a non Spanish speaking person into a Spanish speaking community and said..."go get some bread from the vendor" . How do I start...who sell bread? how do I let them know I need bread ? If I go up to someone and don't say the "right" thing, they will react to me like I'm crazy or stupid. When that has happened a few dozen times...it sets you up to fear failure .

Suggestions. Keep a journal of when you see her reacting with the most anxiety. Physical and social interactions.... Is it to loud, is background noise making it difficult for her to understand them(auditory processing disorder is very common). Are here clothes to itchy and distracting to her ? Is she afraid to go to places that might have strong smells or bright lighting ? Does her behavior appear to make others treat her badly or ignore her ? Is she a perfectionist or rigid in her beliefs of "right and wrong" .

There are too many things for my to list that cause anxiety for me. Many of them I have over come but the world felt like it was filled with land mines when I was a child. No matter how hard I tried to "be good", I was constantly failing at the simplest things . Scientist have done many tests showing that the quickest way to create anxiety in animals is to "set them up to fail" without any idea of why they are failing, (I think it's called random negative reinforcement or something like that).

Once you get an idea of what is triggering the anxiety you can start figuring out how to either avoid it, desensitize or help her learn coping skills in those areas.

Wishing you both relief . (Don't underestimate the importance of anxiety, long term it leads to PTSD and depression and self abuse. )

Comment by Alicia Ryan on November 5, 2008 at 1:17am

Hi, I have a nine year old daughter with aspergers. She has very bad anxiety, does anyone know how I can help her deal with her anxiety?

Comment by Johna Buchanan on October 3, 2008 at 9:33pm

I am the mother of an 11 year old ASPIE and this school year, so far, has been much easier. She has started to seek out new things and even asked a clerk in the store where something was. I was so proud that I almost hugged her up in the store! She is trying basketball but I can already tell that it is stressing her out to try to practice team work. She does play softball but that is as much an individual sport as one can get and still be on the team LOL! There is life after the temper tantrums and screaming fits. And I also have a hubby who has been recently diagnosed as well. Some days are great and others are ok but we try each day! Do your daughters have sensitivity issues? My dd has problems with denim fabric, loud noises, and some smells. She also has hypoglycemia which I wonder if that is part of this mess too.

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